Saturday, May 22, 2021

Two weeks (a short history of your smug *sshole neighbor)

Afternoon there, neighbor!  
There's a new disease in town and I wanted you to know about it.  
It gives the chills and sweats and headaches 
and fevers and diarrhea and a cough and it can kill you.
Not a cold or a flu, but a new thing.  
It can kill most of us it turns out.  
Very dangerous.  

We're going to have to lock you down, in fact.
For your well-being.  
Two weeks is all we ask to flatten this curve.
What's a curve?  Funny you ask.  
It's when too many people get put into the hospital.  
We just want to slow the numbers.  
Whittle them down a bit.  
Lock you out of work and church and play for two weeks.  
Totally worth it, we promise.

Wednesday, May 5, 2021

On humility

Dear H,

Remember that essay I wrote about the four virtues? From the sound of it, you might be led to believe I'm an impressive person.  The secret to my success is I know that I'm not.  I get better every day at mastering the Big Four, of course, but what I'm best at is the unmentioned virtue that doesn't win you any statues, and that virtue is humility.  I should have gotten a trophy for it by now, but people think this defeats the purpose -- and they're wrong.