Thursday, May 29, 2014

Remember to always shave your mustache

My dear Hannah,

I'm not joking when I say this: I have actually encountered a woman with a very wiry and very thin, but very real goatee.  The damned thing drives me nuts.  It drives me nuts first because it's ugly, and second because I know the power of a razor.  She could shave it in an instant, and within a few seconds be rid of something which is an obvious offense against everything we know to be aesthetic.  Even if it was fashionable for women to grow facial hair, it isn't even a good goatee.

Monday, May 26, 2014

On proof of divinity

Dear Hannah,

If you want me or anyone else to prove that Jesus is the Son of God, I'm afraid you're asking for something that can't be done.  It's been over two-thousand years since Jesus walked the earth and people had enough trouble believing Him back then.  Thomas had to see the holes in Christ's hands before he even believed what the other Apostles had told him.  I don't see how it could be any easier now.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Transcending the politics of black and white

My dear Hannah,

I sincerely doubt that in America -- or anywhere else for that matter -- you'll be able to successfully avoid racial politics, so I'd like to give you a few tips on how to deal with them.  I'm writing this because there are people who think that we have a moral duty to avoid racial politics, and there are people who make their lives of them: the former I believe to be truly naive or stupid people; the latter have become nearly animals.  In different periods of my life, I have been both.  You must be neither.