Tuesday, March 28, 2017


Dear Hannah,

The Ethiopians are a very peculiar people.  Hidden away on the eastern half of Africa, they don't have a history of slavery in the Americas, and of all the different kinds of black Africans appear the least foreign to us.  Their features are in many cases sharp as the European's, and provide a stark contrast to the Africans of The Ivory Coast and the Congo.  Here you'll see no flattened noses or giant lips; and their skin appears almost bright compared with the midnight blackness of the people of Sudan.  My opinion is that their women are the prettiest in all Africa; and what they surpass in all their neighbors with the beauty of the face, they double -- nay, triple, with a thickness in the rear*.  Their only rivals on the continent are white colonists and the Arabs of North Africa.  The same compliment can't be paid to their men.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Dreaming of right-wing women

Dear Hannah,

I don't believe (whatever Paul and Schopenhauer said) that women in general are stupid, but I don't believe the rumor's existence is entirely the fault of our men. The women seem to have brought it on themselves.  If all our men were to start calling our women ugly nobody would believe it, mostly because women are one of the only things we stare at so desperately that some of us end up driving into ditches.  But even if men tried spreading the lie, the truth of an assertion lies in its probability.   Too many women are beautiful for us to call them ugly.  We might even say the concept of beauty revolves around women*.  But are too many women intelligent for us to say they aren't stupid?

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

So are we going to keep Milo?

Dear Son,

I've never had sex with a man, but I have gotten lots of attention from men, and the most of it came when I was around the age of 17.