Letters to Hannah

Rogue philosophy at its (almost) finest

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Nerds with guns

August 08, 2019

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Dear H, A while back I knew a man who prayed for children. So far as I'm aware not even to get children, but to make a new man of himself. His theory was that the more children he had the more he'd develop his character, and in the act of procreation he was creating a new version of himself -- more patient, and kind, and giving, and in general more Christian. He'd create something out of his body and the end product would be the Fruit of the Spirit.

I've moved to Substack

Dear reader, After years of getting shadowbanned by Facebook and Twitter I've moved to Substack. My views have already gotten better, and I'm looking forward to seeing you there. The link is https://lettersofj.substack.com . Yours, -J P.S. The app seems to be pretty good too, and allows you to follow lots of great writers pretty easily.

On an ancient custom of the Babylonians

Dear M, Montaigne once said he could find something attractive on nearly any woman, but this is far too upbeat for me. Amy Schumer had great legs, but who wants to think too much about them? They're attached to Amy Schumer; and the package deal is too painful to really be called a deal -- it has all the qualities of the bargain bin. You buy the legs and you've bought the mouth.

Why "liberal" means "left-winger"

Dear T, Two of my heroes are Mises and Ayn Rand , but for several reasons I could never consider myself a full-blown libertarian. First off is the fact that you can and should legislate morality, and in fact every libertarian without exception does . All government is an extension of moral ideas. He won't prosecute you for stealing a wife, but he'll put you in jail for stealing a loaf; and beyond this he'll do the same thing for murder, and fraud, and kidnapping, and assault -- all of them moral issues, and 100% featured in the book of Deuteronomy.

The last refuge of the moron

Dear H, Brittney Cooper Brittney Cooper, author of the smash hit Eloquent Rage: a Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower , wanted to be a professor and she got it. This is the basis of her complaint on NBC . Somebody told her, years ago, that the only person she could control was herself, and beyond this that if she didn't smoke crack, or get knocked up, or shoot her neighbors, or steal sneakers, or blow her money on gold chains and spinning rims, and made good choices in general, she would "make it." And she did make the right choices -- to become a professor. Now she has tenure and can say stupid things and nobody can fire her. What she deeply regrets is not having children. Who's to blame for all this? Her wild success implies that it's her. Who does she blame? White neoliberals and their "perverse form of a social gospel."

Random early morning thoughts

Dear S, Some random thoughts for you this morning, well before sunrise. 1) There are two kinds of perfect people. The first, a person who does what's "right" all the time, is a figment of the imagination and never existed anywhere, and in fact can't exist anywhere. The second is a person you look at, at that moment, and wouldn't change a thing. I know none of the first and lots of the second.

Nerds with guns

Dear T-. My position on breeding is as follows: I'm for it. Not for everyone, but definitely for me, and ultimately in excess . I think this is the position most honest and healthy men have at heart; and the idea that everyone should have one wife is a nice idea and a safe idea -- but certainly not a fun idea. The problem with polygamy lies in what you'd do with the other men. You get one Solomon and 999 guys are left horny and angry and jealous -- and what do you do with the majority of your women? Sure they're all yours; but are they really? Do you really have the time to sweet-talk and caress all of them enough to make them really love you? And can you keep enough of an eye on them to bar them from the other 999 horn-dogs? Too much work if you ask me.

A gun to our heads

Dear Hannah, My current position on bums is shifting from "downtrodden children of God" to "round 'em up and gas 'em" -- a change I blame on the city of Seattle. It used to be that the homeless were just a sore on the lip of society; but Seattle has taken the worst parables of Jesus and actually made a religion out of them, and now if you aren't willing to throw everything away for the bums you're an outcast and a heretic. That's why I loathe them like the prophets of Ba'al, and every panhandler to me represents not just a failure of chemicals in the brain, or a refusal to get his act together, or a crime spree in waiting or a drug habit in action, but a whole code of ethics I hate for its enforcement -- not even really the bum , but the thing that he stands for . A robbery in progress. Some smug liberal's ticket to heaven on my back. An endless tide of sermons with no actual payout, other than a fuzzy feeling and a fitting in wi

On wankery

Dear Son, A major reason Americans are dumber than our ancestors is because so many of us are wankers. A man's excellence is directly connected to whether he's spent himself sexually; and, from what I gather, the majority of American men have already wanked themselves dry.

Saving the Asians and womenfolk

Dear T, The news outlets and women have spoken. Nearly every day for the past two weeks I've seen at least several posts demanding that I, Homo Blanculus, the almighty white man, who knows and sees and does all wrongs, put an end to punching Asians, and also to raping women. This morning I was in a good mood (and I have a taste for gallantry anyway), so I decided to accept their challenge. So let it be known that I won't rape a lady or punch an Asian this week. Nay, I'll outdo their expectations and take the pledge for all year.

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