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Letters to Hannah

Rogue philosophy at its (almost) finest

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Showing posts from September, 2019

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The book that liberated nobody

September 13, 2019

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On not being famous

September 06, 2019

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On an ancient custom of the Babylonians

Dear M, Montaigne once said he could find something attractive on nearly any woman, but this is far too upbeat for me. Amy Schumer had great legs, but who wants to think too much about them? They're attached to Amy Schumer; and the package deal is too painful to really be called a deal -- it has all the qualities of the bargain bin. You buy the legs and you've bought the mouth.

I've moved to Substack

Dear reader, After years of getting shadowbanned by Facebook and Twitter I've moved to Substack. My views have already gotten better, and I'm looking forward to seeing you there. The link is https://lettersofj.substack.com . Yours, -J P.S. The app seems to be pretty good too, and allows you to follow lots of great writers pretty easily.

Why "liberal" means "left-winger"

Dear T, Two of my heroes are Mises and Ayn Rand , but for several reasons I could never consider myself a full-blown libertarian. First off is the fact that you can and should legislate morality, and in fact every libertarian without exception does . All government is an extension of moral ideas. He won't prosecute you for stealing a wife, but he'll put you in jail for stealing a loaf; and beyond this he'll do the same thing for murder, and fraud, and kidnapping, and assault -- all of them moral issues, and 100% featured in the book of Deuteronomy.

Random early morning thoughts

Dear S, Some random thoughts for you this morning, well before sunrise. 1) There are two kinds of perfect people. The first, a person who does what's "right" all the time, is a figment of the imagination and never existed anywhere, and in fact can't exist anywhere. The second is a person you look at, at that moment, and wouldn't change a thing. I know none of the first and lots of the second.

Nerds with guns

Dear T-. My position on breeding is as follows: I'm for it. Not for everyone, but definitely for me, and ultimately in excess . I think this is the position most honest and healthy men have at heart; and the idea that everyone should have one wife is a nice idea and a safe idea -- but certainly not a fun idea. The problem with polygamy lies in what you'd do with the other men. You get one Solomon and 999 guys are left horny and angry and jealous -- and what do you do with the majority of your women? Sure they're all yours; but are they really? Do you really have the time to sweet-talk and caress all of them enough to make them really love you? And can you keep enough of an eye on them to bar them from the other 999 horn-dogs? Too much work if you ask me.

The last refuge of the moron

Dear H, Brittney Cooper Brittney Cooper, author of the smash hit Eloquent Rage: a Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower , wanted to be a professor and she got it. This is the basis of her complaint on NBC . Somebody told her, years ago, that the only person she could control was herself, and beyond this that if she didn't smoke crack, or get knocked up, or shoot her neighbors, or steal sneakers, or blow her money on gold chains and spinning rims, and made good choices in general, she would "make it." And she did make the right choices -- to become a professor. Now she has tenure and can say stupid things and nobody can fire her. What she deeply regrets is not having children. Who's to blame for all this? Her wild success implies that it's her. Who does she blame? White neoliberals and their "perverse form of a social gospel."

On wankery

Dear Son, A major reason Americans are dumber than our ancestors is because so many of us are wankers. A man's excellence is directly connected to whether he's spent himself sexually; and, from what I gather, the majority of American men have already wanked themselves dry.

Saving the Asians and womenfolk

Dear T, The news outlets and women have spoken. Nearly every day for the past two weeks I've seen at least several posts demanding that I, Homo Blanculus, the almighty white man, who knows and sees and does all wrongs, put an end to punching Asians, and also to raping women. This morning I was in a good mood (and I have a taste for gallantry anyway), so I decided to accept their challenge. So let it be known that I won't rape a lady or punch an Asian this week. Nay, I'll outdo their expectations and take the pledge for all year.

On finding a church

Dear M, I tend to have a problem with authority. Not generally with my boss (why argue with a paycheck?) or the police ( why end up in jail? ), but with anyone who tells me what to think. I could swallow anyone's opinion if the reasons behind it seem good, and in fact I do: it makes little difference to me when or where or who it comes from. But if I have to accept it based not on the delivery but on the delivery boy, I probably won't accept it. Not from my parents, not from a pastor, not from a President, and not from the Pope* -- although I might fake it if I have to .

How to keep your man

Dear ladies, I've been married for over a decade now, and married successfully, I think -- at least successfully enough to give some tips to some of you sub-par ladies out there who got married recently (or are getting married soon) because the dating pool is drying up and you can't keep wrecking homes. Some people will tell you marriage is an art form, but they're wrong. It's a science, and if you follow these universal, time-tested principles to not make your man hate you, you can stay married, which is one of the two necessary prerequisites, alongside being a good Republican, to get into heaven. These principles are as follows: 1) Never be a stinky wife.

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