Hannah and Papa J

Hannah and Papa J

Monday, June 29, 2015

The most difficult thing about being a Catholic

Dear Hannah,

Throughout my life I've heard many people say I don't know what it feels like to be black in America.  Aside from the fact that nobody has ever proposed the opposite, that black people have no idea how it feels to be white in America, what I have never heard anyone say is that I don't know how it feels to be Catholic.  I admit I don't know how it feels to be Catholic because I am not a Catholic; but I imagine that if I was, right now would be a difficult time to be one.  And this is because you never really can be too sure what Papa Francesco is going to say next.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Speak now, or forever hold your peace

Dear Hannah,

Although I've seen several bad marriages in my life, there's really only one time I felt forced to attend a wedding, and it involved a woman I love marrying a man I never trusted.  I spoke at the wedding, and did a damn good job at it.  I even bought a gift for this couple despite the fact that I knew he'd ruin everything and I'd be out a good chunk of money.   The wedding cost me my dignity and my money.   It caused the bride a broken heart and a divorce.  And shy of shoving her fiancĂ©e off a cliff there was nothing any of us could do to stop it.

Friday, June 19, 2015

If God is dead then God's Not Dead killed Him: a very late film review

Dear Hannah,

Imagine for a moment that a society of Elvis fans pooled together a bunch of money and decided to prove that Elvis was alive; and so they got a lot of marketers and hired Kevin Sorbo and compiled all their arguments for Elvis's current existence and put them all together for a film brilliantly titled Elvis is not Dead.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Thoughts on Gay Pride Month

Dear Hannah,

This morning I was told it's gay pride month, which led me to ask a lot of uncomfortable questions -- about the sanity of the American public.  I asked, for instance, why gays get a whole month when Memorial Day is only a day, and whether men having sex with men is more important than my great uncle Bob*, who was killed fighting the Japanese in the Pacific.  The answer, so far as I can tell, is that my great uncle Bob only died trying to protect us from invasion.   Or in other words, he was only in the Army.  He didn't sing In The Navy.