Sunday, June 28, 2015

Speak now, or forever hold your peace

Dear Hannah,

Although I've seen several bad marriages in my life, there's really only one time I felt forced to attend a wedding, and it involved a woman I love marrying a man I never trusted.  I spoke at the wedding, and did a damn good job at it.  I even bought a gift for this couple despite the fact that I knew he'd ruin everything and I'd be out a good chunk of money.   The wedding cost me my dignity and my money.   It caused the bride a broken heart and a divorce.  And shy of shoving her fiancĂ©e off a cliff there was nothing any of us could do to stop it.

Friday, June 19, 2015

If God is dead then God's Not Dead killed Him: a very late film review

Dear Hannah,

Imagine, for a moment, that a society of Elvis fans pooled together a bunch of money and decided to prove that Elvis was alive.  So they got a lot of marketers, and hired Kevin Sorbo, and compiled all their arguments for Elvis's right-here-today existence, and put them all together for a film brilliantly titled Elvis is not Dead.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Thoughts on Gay Pride Month

Dear Hannah,

Gay pride month leads me to ask a lot of uncomfortable questions -- about the sanity of the American public.  I asked, for instance, why gays get a whole month when Memorial Day is only a day, and beyond this whether The Village People are more important than my great uncle Bob*.  The answer, so far as I can tell, is that my great uncle Bob only died fighting off the Axis Powers.   He was only in the Army.  He didn't sing In The Navy.