Hannah and Papa J

Hannah and Papa J

Friday, July 24, 2015

Don't tell me to smile

Dear Hannah,

I've never really had trouble smiling, but I imagine that if the genders swapped places and women went around asking men to smile, that men would think of something much funnier to say than they were being forced to because of the matriarchy.  I imagine, being a man, that many of us might answer that we would already be smiling -- if only the woman who was asking was prettier.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

How to ruin your homeschooled child

Dear Hannah,

Something that's given me an almost endless source of amusement is the public's response to an essay I wrote about homeschoolers, mostly because they said I have no idea what I'm talking about.  Of course, anyone who knows me knows I do know what I'm talking about, and I know what I'm talking about because I was schooled at home -- all the way through tenth grade, when my parents realized that homeschooling wasn't good for me anymore.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

On putting Pat Robertson to death

Dear Hannah,

We hear a lot of talk about God judging the nations, but isn't it strange the Evangelicals know the way He's going to do it?  The truth is that they don't; and I know this because I've tried to get God's judgment down to a science, and the only thing I've ever been able to figure out is that if we're going by Biblical standards, God would have already drowned all the Evangelicals.

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

"If necessary, use words" and other nonsense

Dear Hannah,

You may have heard people say by this point "preach the Gospel.  If necessary, use words."  It may be safely translated, stop preaching.  I've never heard it used in any other context than to get people to stop preaching, and it is used because people believe preaching is less important than doing things.  But if you've been paying any attention, you'll notice that the person who quotes this happens to be speaking, and he happens to be speaking a Christian lesson for the purpose of influencing your thoughts and behavior.  In other words, what you're hearing is a sermon.  I believe it may be fairly asked, at this point, why the person who's speaking instead of keeping his mouth shut isn't keeping his own advice.  It may be because speaking is a better vehicle for ideas than silence.