#MeToo and the so-called "complexity" of women

Dear Hannah,

Crazy women like to call the average man a simpleton, but the truth as usual is far more sinister -- and far more fun. It isn't true that he only wants some things, like sex. His brain has simply weighed all the other options and decided some things are more important than the other things.  Which is why men who want men are so likely to get AIDS.

When a woman is "complex" it's because she can't make a decision. She allows her mind to be clouded with alternate proposals, unsolved problems and the-best-of-both-worlds dreaming; and, incapable of resolving herself to the best real-world possibility, consigns herself to a world of constant frustration -- a state of irrational paralysis which they then call "complexity."  ("Does this dress make me look fat?") The man weighs all and picks some.  A crazy woman weighs all, gets some, and then wonders why she can't have the rest. She's complex because she hasn't thought it all out. The options she whines about are the ones she forgot to cross off.

This theory, I think, is the best explanation for feminism.  That women want to look competitive -- but need quotas to compete with men.  That they want to have careers -- and also raise children. That they want to flaunt their sexuality -- but can't handle objectification.  That they want to look strong -- but need special defense against rape.  That they all want to be sexy -- but can't handle standards on sexiness.  That they can't make decisions when drinking -- but should still be allowed to buy drinks.  That they need paid maternal leave -- but that everyone should consider them equally efficient.  That a woman is trustworthy -- but that contracts and judges and juries are necessary to protect women from the mendacity of women.  Each pair of interests proving, on some level, that no matter how many times you tell a child you can't have your cake and eat it too, some of them are too stupid to believe it.

Thus the Kavanaugh hearings are an extension of this problem.  In short, women wanted to be sexually free.  Then they found out that the "cage" they lived in was actually for their safety.  They thought it was to keep them inside but it was to keep the men out.  And so women went to wild parties and got raped.  They got cornered in a room and then fondled.   They walked down the street half-dressed and found that men would proposition them for sex.  Their freed bosses made lewd comments.  We let porn onto the streets and found that the women in porn got brutalized.  We let them have sex and they got left with the babies.  They're now terrified of this freedom and searching, unknowingly, for the old rules they so carelessly threw away.  They said "treat us like men" and found out men were like dogs.  And the only way to keep a dog from humping your leg is to fix him.

Modern feminism is the realization of this fact.  They want all of the fun and none of the danger.  We said that women and men are equal but we're in the process of unlearning it.  The old way to recognize this difference was sexual manners -- the idea of chastity and chivalry and purity in general -- the much-laughed-at Billy Graham Rule.  But feminists don't want chastity.  They want sexual liberty and sexual safety -- together, at the same time.  And the only way they can get both is to have a class of people entirely without rights, whom you can have sex with one day and then throw into prison at whim.  Even thirty five years later.
At this point it looks like the feminists are winning, but the main beneficiaries of the #MeToo movement, in the end, will be men.  The first kind of men, unfortunately, are the men who'll get away with sexual assaults.  After so many stupid women have stood by so many shoddy accusations, the women scared for the safety of their brothers and fathers and lovers will stop believing in women.  These women who stand by their men are in the end the majority of women.  The other men who'll benefit will be the men smart enough to see #MeToo posts and realize which women to avoid sexual relations with.  For the meantime, #MeToo will serve the same function as a foaming mouth on a stray dog -- that a man is likely to get bit, and that if he wants to survive he has to avoid the bitch or be ready to put her down.

Your father,

*They say humanity swings like a pendulum and I think in most cases this is true.  We seem to swing from one insane position to it's opposite and then right back to the insane one again.  This fact I blame on our radicals -- the angry and energetic majority who fall in love with a theory and have no respect for balance and are nearly always responsible for dragging us to destruction.  But I agree with Chesterton that if a man thinks of himself as a pendulum he ought to swing like one -- and hang himself.

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