Hannah and Papa J

Hannah and Papa J

Friday, January 12, 2018

A DECLARATION ON THE RIGHTS OF WOMAN


Do not look below a woman's neck
Do not tell a woman she's attractive
Do not kiss a woman without asking "May I French kiss you?"
(Do not call it French kissing because of stereotypes)
Do not have sex with a woman unless she signs a voidable contract every time you're undressing
Do not offer women money for sex
But women should be allowed to trade sex for money
Do not wink at women you do not know unless you have been winked at
And stop winking immediately when she stops winking
The time for winking has passed

Do not assume that because she's a woman she feels or thinks a certain way
Unless you assume she's a feminist
Because every woman is smart enough to be an astronaut
But no woman is more beautiful than another
Because your tastes are discriminatory
But a woman's are not
Which is why they only date old guys for the money
And can prosecute you for rape
So don't say pink is a woman's color even if they all knitted pink hats and went on a parade
Or that women can lie
Because women always tell the truth
And men should always be equal to women
Because otherwise women will get trampled
But men can turn into women
Because there is no real difference between the genders

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