Tuesday, November 3, 2020

Life advice from the left-wing

Open up your border
And get rid of the police
And get morbidly obese.
Disarm yourself and
Make sure all the felons can vote.
Knowingly share AIDS with a friend in California
But force everyone to wear a mask.
Shoot up in an alley and then take a dump in it
And leave needles everywhere for kids to step on
And then complain about pollution.
Bike naked down the street
And then complain when guys flash women
Even though being naked is natural
And women are very strong.
Tear down Lincoln's statue
But leave Lenin's up.
Never have children --
Or have lots of children with different people
Of different races
And then tell all your kids they're oppressed.
Also tell black people they're oppressed,
By you, just because of your skin;
But also let them know you're an ally.
And tell everyone about Jesus --
But only when it involves public policy
And never when it involves abstinence
Or praying for Republicans.
Tell everyone gender roles are oppressive
And then act like the opposite gender.
Go into a little girl's locker room
And then get naked and take a shower.
Abort your baby and die alone with a cat.
Force everybody to not work
And then claim capitalism has failed
And complain about big corporations
and then shut down all the small businesses.
Shout over a public speaker
And then tell everyone it's freedom of speech.
Be totally inclusive of your pet people
And kick out and censor everybody who isn't.
Celebrate gay pride for a month
and your mom for only a day.
Tell everyone this is Indigenous territory
And then don't move anywhere else;
But Europe is for everyone,
because having a white territory is racist.
Say that defending black people is anti-racism
but that defending white people is white fragility;
then join a peaceful protest
and burn down a black business district.
Complain about objectification
and then teach all the kindergarteners about anal.

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