How to be a terrible Mexican

Dear Hannah,

Now that the Archdiocese of Mexico City has told us that any Mexican helping build the wall is a traitor, we're left wondering exactly what they mean.  It has yet to be shown how many filthy Godless wasted Americans waltz through the doors of the current one every year to terrorize Tijuana; and it seems that if anyone could benefit from better border controls it would be the Mexicans.  We get many of their workers.  They get many of our frat boys.  You can easily conceive who's getting the worse end of this deal.

Anyone who's spent time in Tijuana knows exactly what I mean.  For decades Americans were slumming across the border to hit the pharmacies and get trashed on the streets; and Montezuma's Revenge was the only shield of God warning off the tourists with a death by diarrhea.  Beyond this it was madness.  A flood of idiots descend upon the brothels every year, taking advantage of the women so badly that the border towns have become known for their "donkey shows."  Anyone on the lam knows that the difference between liberty and jail time is a matter of crossing the Mexican border.  Fights erupt between white savages who can't afford to live the high life in wealthy San Diego; trash is added to the mountains already existent; an ongoing torrent of sleaze erupts from the northern border despite what many Americans complain about the literal sewage ruining the water from the south.   They poison our bodies and we poison their souls.  Any sane and patriotic Mexican is forced to wonder why this continues to happen.  The answer is because it boosts the economy.

Businesses have a long and sordid history with the vice known as cowardice, and we know this because it's the unmentioned duty of the customer service clerk to be shat upon by random customers.  Not all the customers are bad or our clerks would be paid more; but everyone knows that when the bad one comes the clerk has to be a martyr; and that he asks forgiveness when he's in the right; and he makes concessions for the ignorance of the customer; and he finds ways to satiate the bully's insistence.  Business makes saints where the interest of survival is more important than a person's dignity.  Tell a few people where they can stick their money and you've lost a few dollars.  Tell the number who deserve it and you end up losing your livelihood.  "The customer is always right" means there's no such thing as right.  Even within the bounds of the law a business is a tyranny of manners.

And Mexico is open for sale.  And its citizens are worse off than clerks.  In fact, it may be readily surmised that few countries outside of the Middle East have ever suffered worse from business; and that the beckonings of mammon have turned it into the wildest of ghettos.  Women and children disappear daily to end up in sexual servitude -- for money.  The cartels have made Central America a wasteland of treachery and corruption and violence -- for money.  They've taken the businesses that are too poisonous to exist in America, and allowed them to ruin their air and their rivers and pay the most destitute citizens pennies -- for money.  And it could be argued after all of this that before they had money they were starving.  It could be argued that they do a lot of it voluntarily because they couldn't do anything else.  The same could almost be said (and is frequently said) for America during the Industrial Revolution.  But look at what we allow money to do to us, and then ask yourself about the question of the border.

Liberals pretend that opening the border is about racism but it isn't.  It has always been about business.  We have jobs and we don't want to pay Americans to do them.  We marched in self-righteous crusades for the minimum wage and then we didn't want to pay it.  A brown man was desperate and he stepped forward; we cried for our dignity and he threw his aside.  We let him cross because he stooped to carry what we had refused; and we were so willing to let him carry our burdens that we let in a torrent of criminals.  Every American who's raped -- like the brown women in Tijuana getting violated by donkeys -- we consider the burdens of business.  We turn a blind eye to the children gunned down by the vatos.  We sacrifice our nationality for the sake of our business; and we celebrate the ethnicity of the white farmers who are currently and knowingly destroying it.  Jesus asked us what a man would get in exchange for his soul.  Americans have answered -- and the answer is cheap strawberries.

Your father,

PS: If this essay sounds "socialistic" or "puritan" it is; and every one of us ought to have a touch of the socialist inside of him.  There's a point beyond which money shouldn't take us.  Almost every dollar we receive is in exchange for an unpleasantry.  We part with something; we do something we don't want to; we endure many things for money.  But the fact that we endure many things doesn't mean we should endure anything.

I've always been bothered by this idea that a free exchange is necessarily a good exchange.  I don't believe that because a woman's willing to have sex with an ugly stranger for money that we should let ugly strangers have sex with a starving sister.  We ban prostitution but we allow porn stars.  We say it's a woman's choice but then we cry about people being chained to a desk in a factory.  Well what's worse?  Taking it up the ass for a living or getting stuck to a desk?

The difference between the porn star and the prostitute is that one has a pimp and the other has a producer; and the pimp squeaks by on dollars and the producer goes on to make millions.  The porn star and the prostitute almost always stay poor.  We let strippers slide by because we hear many of them end up paying for college.  We ought instead to parade our politicians naked while they're running for office -- and see if they like how it feels!


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