Social media: an apology

Dear Hannah,

In retrospect I may have "suffered" what is commonly known as a "lapse in judgment."  Any references on this Facebook account relating to the someone known as Richard Gere and any acts he probably did not commit have been removed on account of a) their slanderous nature and b) the impropriety of sharing the allegations themselves; and prove 1) that I can in fact be fouler in the pursuit of hilarity than I prefer and b) that I occasionally require some forgiveness for said acts of impropriety.

In what little I can say in my defense, I figured it would be an inside joke for those of you on the inside of this horrible thing we know as humanity.  The thought that some of you might use the technology known as google and eternally ruin your own souls was haphazardly ignored; and if any of you fit the description of what I just said, you have my heartfelt apology.  If you are reading this and have no idea what I'm talking about, or if you're reading this and you just "didn't get it" then move along and stop asking questions before you ruin your life with the answer.  I am aware that this apology is the best damn thing you're going to read on facebook all of today, and I'm proud of it both for its cryptic nature and that it proves to me on some ridiculous level that I still have some kind of character -- which is on another level also apparently a joke.

Yours truly,