Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Never bring a Christian leftist to the zoo

Dear Hannah,

A small circle of my friends and I agree we'll never take a Christian leftist to the zoo.  We all know Christians had a tendency to get thrown to lions, and beyond this a few Christians, for good reason, have even thrown themselves.  Neither of these is the reason for this essay.  The reason we never take a Christian leftist to the zoo is self-preservation.  The old Christian was likely to get himself killed.  The new Christian thinks he's a hero because he's willing to sacrifice you.

This whitewashed brand of murder most usually makes an appearance when your country is in a fight for its survival.  Then all of a sudden this Godly jack-ass begins spouting all kinds of things on Facebook about how God has not given us a spirit of fear, and pretending to risk his life in reckless causes with minimal payouts at maximum expense.  There is of course a catch.  The reason God hasn't given him a spirit of fear because He's given you one.  And He's given you one because you're the person who's actually being sacrificed.

For instance.

You can find a liberal Christian worrying about the people in prison -- but not about the people they harmed to get there.  You can find him clamoring to spend more on the poor -- but not with the money that's taken from him personally.  He always tells us not to judge -- but only the things and people he personally feels comfortable around.  He always wants to house illegal immigrants and hostile refugees -- but never in his own home.  He wants us to get rid of our weapons because of the children, and wants us to abort the children because of the mothers, and he claims that he who loses his life shall find it.  We support him in the last measure.  We give him liberty to lose his life.  We want him to pack up and evangelize to ISIS.  What we don't give him liberty do is to lose ours or anyone else's.

The liberal Christian lives a life full of contradictions.  His own morality isn't even really moral and in its baldest form isn't even possible.  He says, on the one hand, that the mark of the Christian is a wild and irrational charity -- which means letting go of everything you ought to hold dear and taking care of everything you shouldn't.  On the other hand he feels the need to lock his front door.  He says that dying for Christ is admirable, and then wonders whether living is moral.  And he wonders this because once he's decided he's responsible for the people he isn't responsible for, every Christmas tree is purchased at the expense of an African's meal, and every hour of leisure spent at the expense of a soup kitchen.  He gives so he can make the world a better place.  When a part of the world is a better place, he quickly tries to make it worse.  The moment he's helped you on your feet is the moment he'll try to knock you off them.

The strange appeal of Christian altruism comes from the fact that it isn't really altruism.  Not only because there isn't any such thing as altruism, but because Christians believe there isn't anything to lose.  In a certain sense they believe they already have everything, which is why they appear to be ready to lose everything.   The difference between liberal Christians and intelligent Christians isn't that one has Heaven and the other one doesn't.  It's that one of them knows the difference between giving everything and taking everything.

There's a reason why "altruism" is so appealing, and it's because the person who gives things gives without asking.  It's the same reason we avoid people who take without giving.  At its core, we love altruistic people because we love being around people who benefit people (because we're people); and we love committing acts of altruism because we want other people to love us as much as we love ourselves.  Altruism is an indulgence of our herd instinct, and an expression of our sociability.  In Christianity, as in the rest of life, it's God's means of glorifying Himself (Heb 12:2).  All respectful acts of self-interest are moral, which is why Jesus spent the overwhelming majority of his life as a working-man.  An act of altruism is an attempt at endearment and a monument to self-worship.  It is never selfless.

The great beauty of the Christian religion isn't found anywhere in Christian morality, but in the one thing liberal Christians are worse at than anything else -- Biblical theology.  It lies in the fact that if there really is a God out there who knows you at your worst and gave you His very best, then everything we could suffer on earth is momentary, and everything really great about life is going to last forever.  It's why Christians sing the sappiest love songs ever written.  Christians love their God because He first loved them at His own expense.  And herein lies something crucial.  Had Jesus never been a member of the Trinity, the Gospel would have been a very different story -- which is one reason Christians killed each other over the doctrine.  An intelligent Christian is a moral Trinitarian, and wants to give himself.  A liberal Christian is morally Arian, and wants to give someone else.  And the someone else he wants to give is you.

What Christian leftists have forgotten is that altruism is a beautiful thing until it becomes mandatory, because the moment it becomes mandatory it becomes murderous.  The moment we cross the line between giving without a reward and forcing others to give without a reward, we've left the realm of altruism entirely.  In fact there are names for the kind of people who view the lives, liberty, and property of their neighbors as nothing more than a means to a personal end -- even if it is a "spiritual" end.  We call them robbers, murderers, and tyrants.  And there's a term we use for people whose lives, liberty, and property are the property of someone else.  We tend to call them slaves. The liberal Christian robs and endangers Christians to enrich the world's barbarians and losers, and he does it to glorify himself at minimal personal expense.  The Apostle Paul said a man who refuses to take care of his family is worse than an infidel.  It has yet to be heard what he'd say of a man who enslaves the body of Christ.

Your father,


  1. Wonderful allegory. My circle does not include any liberals, at all, so I'm grateful for the introduction to the "Christian" variety, as a cautionary tale at the very least. Great letter!

  2. Altruism comes from within. Anything forced does not come from within. So there is no such a thing as "forced altruism".

  3. Did you know that the Bible contains the secret to your success as a Christian? There may be many who believe that a Christian must lack ambition or take a vow of poverty in order to please God. But that's not really what the Bible teaches health in the bible